


I Deserve No One

by CloudXMK



Series: Forgive Me [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Emotional Hurt, F/M, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Hurt Lucifer, Hurt No Comfort, I am so sorry, I'm still hurting from Episode Five, Lucifer whump, May also be post episode: S02E06, May continue this or not, One Shot, Pain, Poor Lucifer, Spin-Off, Suicide Attempt, This is not going to end happily, Whump, currently a one-shot, post episode: s02e05
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 16:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8408662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudXMK/pseuds/CloudXMK
Summary: This takes place after Episode 5 and a spin-off into Episode 6. Overcome with grief and guilt, Lucifer lashes out at Chloe driving her away. Now truly alone, he decides to take matters into his own hands that would leave a huge wake of consequences on the living.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry guys. I am still upset over Episode 5 and the promo for Episode 6 is not helping matters for me. I'm also been feeling a bit down and tired lately so I just decided to write up this one-shot and be done with it. Currently it is a one-shot but I might make it into a series of one-shots. I don't know. 
> 
> Warning: I already tagged what this story will include and if any of you guys are uncomfortable with it, you can turn back now and not read this story.

Lucifer sat on the couch swigging another glass of his rare whiskey, ignoring the wreck of what was once his beautiful grand piano and the shattered pieces of his bar. He was a mess. Messy hair that stuck up in different directions, stubble that hadn’t been shaved for the past two days, open crinkled dress shirt and vest, and bloodshot eyes with bags under his eyes.

He took another swig of his drink remembering the argument he had earlier with Chloe which had blown out of proportion. Hurtful words had been flung back and forth, more from him then from the good detective, but the final straw came when he had practically insulted her to be nothing more than a trophy who is only good at spreading her legs wide open.

That had earned him a good, hard slap from her. He could only watch, mouth agape from sheer shock at what he had just said, as the detective walked away to join with her ex-husband and it hurt. It did hurt because he may have pushed away his only friend.

Amenadiel had come by and practically trashed him after finding out what he did to Uriel before he left sneering a few parting words that left him completely shattered.

_“You should have been on the receiving end of Azrael’s blade instead of Uriel.”_

Mazikeen had stopped visiting him, still furious with him after he had persuaded Amenadiel to confront Uriel, and Chloe had never called him since the fight. He had even came to her apartment to apologize but was met with the spawn instead.

He had expected her to launch herself at him but it never came. He was shocked when he saw the blatant anger on her cherubic face.

“Spawn?”

“Go away, Lucifer. You hurt Mommy.” The little girl simply said before she slammed the door in his face. He had never expected it to sting when she did so but being rejected and hated by the little girl had left him shaken to the core. He had then given up and went back to his apartment where he then proceeded to destroy the place, guilt, regret, sorrow and anger fueling his actions.

His drink now finished, Lucifer tossed the glass to the other side of the room, shattering it. He sighs heavily and looks down at his hands and for a moment, he swore he saw his hands stark red coated with Uriel’s blood. He gasped and blinked to find his hands clean and smooth with not a single drop of blood on it.

Shutting his eyes tighty, he gritted his teeth and clutched his head as guilt came surging forth. He was a monster. All this time, he had been accused to be the cause of the original sin and a monster. Time and time again, he had denied these accusations, trying to prove to the humans that they were blatant lies, but after what he did. It was all true. He is a monster.

He had successfully proven that by committing fratricide. Abel and Cain. History repeating itself all over again and he threw his head back laughing maniacally. How could this have happen? Oh yeah, it’s because he cared for the detective and look how that turned out.

Chuckling sadly, he looks at the blade laid out on the glass table in front of him. He had taken Azrael’s blade home with him not wanting to let it fall into the wrong hands. In the hands of humans, it would drive them mad and cause them to go on a killing spree. He had spilled enough blood and he would not let anymore die because of him.

The good doctor had told him to face the truth. To face what he truly is. Well, he’s facing it now. He was a monster, a killer, and what happens to those who kill? He punishes them.

Making up his mind, he takes the blade and holds it in a tight grip. He was a punisher and he needed to get some punishing done. Said punishing unto himself. He didn’t deserve the detective and her spawn, Mazikeen, and his brother. He didn’t deserve to have a family and he didn’t deserve to live.

Positioning the blade over his chest, he shakily tightens his hold on it not wanting the blade to miss its target. He needed to do this. With a final cry, he brings the blade down, feeling it slip between his ribs, slashing open muscle and organs. He gasped and choked as blood quickly filled his lungs and he slumped back against the couch, ripping the blade out as he did so, his chest heaving as his lungs tried to take in air but failing.

He could feel his body shutting down and he smiled. This was it. He had never felt so peaceful despite how cold he felt and the pain lancing through his chest. He didn’t pay any heed to the loud thunder booming, the streaks of lightning flashing across the sky, and the heavy downpour that landed on his balcony outside.

Closing his eyes, he finally surrenders to the darkness and Lucifer knew no more.  


End file.
